I depart from the doorways of this world
without consolation of the things I have known.
A stranger in my own flesh; do I own my flesh?
A stranger beneath the sky; am I beneath my sky?
A stranger to the breath in my lungs; is there breath in my lungs?
A stranger to the beating of my heart; is that the beating of my heart;
or am I now a corpse in that place they call the hallowed west,
where the Sun-God comes in his old age to meet the mouth of His Mother?
Mother, I remember your body from before the day I was born.
It was your lake I swam in, nourished by the flood of my beginning.
What you passed to me was the wet breath of my mortality,
the language of clinging to my body of the earth before I knew earth;
but I knew my fingers, my toes, my mouth, and my beating heart.
It was your heart I heard in my flooded ears; swimming in the drum
through nine moons beating.
Mother, I remember the taste of your milk in my mouth,
your breasts of the sky feeding my lips constellations;
how the Unwearying Stars traverse the roof of my mouth,
as they traverse the sky from dawn until dusk.
It was your milk that gave me the stars of the midnight hour;
these passing down to me the memory of our first beginning
when we traveled the canals of the waters above.
Mother, you are my waters and you are my flood;
carry me in your breast and between your golden thighs.
Mother, you are the secret cavern where I will be reborn;
call me to your cleft of the Gods where I will become a god.
Mother, yours is the mouth in which the sun is swallowed;
take me in your lips of sunset where I will shine as nether sky’s mirror.
Mistress of the Sky, Mansion of Heaven, the Lady of Gold
whose starry belly reckons the years of gods and men;
I cannot be a stranger when I come to your dusky flank,
for my face glitters in the shadows like the Sun-God’s reflection;
I being the child of your sky, the seed of your holy cavern,
the very memory of your celestial form.
When I go in by night I shine as one of those Imperishable Stars;
your body my ladder and your hands my enchantments;
but when I come out, I go forth by day as the light of the eastern horizon;
your flood my beginning and your birth pangs my heart’s revival.
O Mother, be the sky stretched above my brow of gold,
and let your two arms clear a passage for me through the waters on high!
Shout for me, lift me up on the curve of your glittering thighs of metal,
and pronounce my name as a sacred star to dazzle on your horizon.
House of the Gods, Residence of the Hawk, Sanctuary of the Sun
in which the bodies of the living Gods are fashioned forever;
you cannot remain a secret from my two eyes when they find you,
for my eyes are the mirrors of the sky birthed from your keep;
my right eye opened by day as the sovereign of the turquoise east;
my left eye opened by night as the sovereign of the lapis west.
It is my eyes that know gold and master lapis lazuli,
and my body that sprouts turquoise as the beams of the afternoon sun.
Gods of the western horizon, hear my footsteps and remember my form,
born from the same Mother who gave you birth;
my body spreading the savor of the nether sky before me;
the sheen of my skin inherited from the flesh of the Sun-God;
the iridescence of my flank being that of the sacred beetle;
my loins possessing the flood that came forth from the beginning;
carrying between my thighs the Mound where the Great Ba-Soul rose;
my brow being the vertex of the Lord to the Limits;
the crown of my head being the horizon of the Cobra-Goddess;
and all of these forms of mine being the very members of the Gods.
I enter the doorways of the west in the company of the stars,
going before me to proclaim my names to the eternal sky;
and I too am eternal in the body of the heavens where I am born.
This is my breath you hear, O Gods;
it expands the lungs of the Cobra-Goddess!
This is my heart that beats, O Gods;
it rends the horizons of the vault at my forthcoming!
These are my eyes you see, O Gods;
they open up the east and the west with their wholesome gaze!
These are my nostrils you inhale, O Gods;
they approach with the northern wind as their gale!
These are my two lips that speak, O Gods;
their language fills your ears as the Sun-God’s command!
These are my powers you recognize, O Gods;
they precede me in the darkness of the nether vault,
becoming my entourage when I cross the threshold of the hallowed west!
You know my whisper, my breath, and the beating of my heart;
you feel my fingers, my toes, and the skin I had from my Mother;
for she is your Mother, too, and her skin is upon your very bones this day!
I depart from the doorways of this world
carrying the consolation of things known only to the Gods.
A master of my own flesh; my flesh is the language of the hallowed.
A master above the sky; my sky is the sanctuary of the sun.
A master of the breath in my lungs; my breath contains the words of deities.
A master of the beating of my heart; my heartbeat sounds the memory
of the Gods from the ancient beginning;
for I am I now a body of radiant light in that place they call the hallowed west,
where the Sun-God comes in his old age to meet the mouth of His Mother.
All text copyright © 2016 Ptahmassu Nofra-Uaa